times they are a changin....
I just spent my very last night here in my Luntsford dorm room. Waking up for the last time in this room allowed me to reflect on this year. I have been crying all morning.
I just said bye to my roommate, my best friend, as she was leaving the room for the last time. I know that I will never have the chance to live with her again and it breaks my heart. I know we are both moving on, her to marriage, but it is so hard to let go of this time. I feel incredible anxiety and fear for what is to come. I am about to live out at Doe River Gorge, and though I am excited I can't help the fear that has taken hold of me. Then after Doe River I get to come back and live with 7 amazing, godly women and return to work at the Firehouse, the best job I have ever had. So what is there to fear....
I fear growing up. I am almost 19 years old and time seems to be rushing by so quickly, that is so scary, i don't want to grow up.
I fear moving on. My freshman year of college has been amazing; it has been the best year of my life. It has definitely changed me and shaped me. I believe that I have grown spiritually and my views and beliefs have been molded to where they really reflect me and I have very much made my faith my own, more than ever before. I have searched myself and established what I believe not what anyone else has told me to believe. I have broken out of bondage that I have been trapped in for most of my life. This year has incredibly impacted my life and it is so hard to leave it behind.
I fear the new and unknown... I have decided that I do not like change; even when the change is good. I guess I just don't know how any other year could be as good as this one. In one year I graduated high school, I went to Africa, I started college, I went through my "wild " stage, I came out of my wild stage and was blessed with an awesome community of believers, I traveled, I grew, I learned, I loved, I experienced freedom. Could any other year be this good....
I really do think they can be… I am just stuck in some crazy emotion for right now. I think this emotion and anxiety is foolish, but I guess this is just a part of life. I really believe that every year will be better than the last because hopefully I will be getting to know my father in heaven better each day, so I guess I am okay with moving on. I should be because it has to happen.After standing still for a moment and looking back on my life this year, I know that I will never forget it. Though I am anxious, I do look forward to the next part of my journey.....
I just said bye to my roommate, my best friend, as she was leaving the room for the last time. I know that I will never have the chance to live with her again and it breaks my heart. I know we are both moving on, her to marriage, but it is so hard to let go of this time. I feel incredible anxiety and fear for what is to come. I am about to live out at Doe River Gorge, and though I am excited I can't help the fear that has taken hold of me. Then after Doe River I get to come back and live with 7 amazing, godly women and return to work at the Firehouse, the best job I have ever had. So what is there to fear....
I fear growing up. I am almost 19 years old and time seems to be rushing by so quickly, that is so scary, i don't want to grow up.
I fear moving on. My freshman year of college has been amazing; it has been the best year of my life. It has definitely changed me and shaped me. I believe that I have grown spiritually and my views and beliefs have been molded to where they really reflect me and I have very much made my faith my own, more than ever before. I have searched myself and established what I believe not what anyone else has told me to believe. I have broken out of bondage that I have been trapped in for most of my life. This year has incredibly impacted my life and it is so hard to leave it behind.
I fear the new and unknown... I have decided that I do not like change; even when the change is good. I guess I just don't know how any other year could be as good as this one. In one year I graduated high school, I went to Africa, I started college, I went through my "wild " stage, I came out of my wild stage and was blessed with an awesome community of believers, I traveled, I grew, I learned, I loved, I experienced freedom. Could any other year be this good....
I really do think they can be… I am just stuck in some crazy emotion for right now. I think this emotion and anxiety is foolish, but I guess this is just a part of life. I really believe that every year will be better than the last because hopefully I will be getting to know my father in heaven better each day, so I guess I am okay with moving on. I should be because it has to happen.After standing still for a moment and looking back on my life this year, I know that I will never forget it. Though I am anxious, I do look forward to the next part of my journey.....
posted by AmberShea at 9:10 AM
4 Comments:
Amber, I am sooo proud of you!
See you tomorrow! Now where did I put that flight info...
haha... i hope that you are kidding. lol... if not i will call you.
Amber, you really are awesome and have grown so much. i am very proud of you too and can't wait to see you grow even more!
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